Talking about screening for STIs, or sexually transmitted and blood-borne infections, may seem tricky, but it's a crucial step in preserving the well-being of both of you.
It's important to remember that STIs can often be asymptomatic. Knowing the symptoms of STIs can help identify a potential problem early on, but the absence of symptoms does not mean the absence of infection. That's why screening for STIs plays a vital role in prevention: it allows us to detect an infection before complications arise, and before it is passed on to others.
It's still important to communicate your discomforts and limitations, because to prevent the transmission of STIs, it's always preferable to know your respective sexual health status and to negotiate with each other the best ways to prevent the transmission of STIs. prevention strategies you're going to adopt. By discussing prevention openly, you'll be able to decide together on the most appropriate methods of protection, such as the use of condoms or regular check-ups with a healthcare professional. By making STI screening and prevention a priority in your relationship, you create a space of trust and shared responsibility that strengthens not only your health, but also your togetherness.
So here are a few tips to help you deal with the situation sympathetically and take charge of your sexual health, together.
Step 1: Listening for understanding
There are many reasons why a person may not want to go for screening. For example, some people avoid screening services because they are afraid of getting a positive result, or because they have had a negative screening experience in the past. Others don't believe they're at risk of contracting STIs, or see talking about STIs or the need for screening as a breach of trust or a sign of infidelity.
With the lack of education about STIs and screening, some people may also be unaware that STIs often present without symptoms, and that screening is THE best preventive strategy for treating them quickly.
For example, chlamydia, one of the most common STIs, can go undetected for months, with few or no symptoms. A person can therefore be a carrier and unknowingly pass it on to his or her partners. If left undetected and untreated, chlamydia can lead to more serious health complications, such as infertility. Screening is therefore the most effective way of detecting the presence of this STI, even in the absence of symptoms.
The important thing is to ask questions and try to understand your partner's reticence without passing judgment.
Step 2: Sharing knowledge
Once you've listened and understood the reluctance, you can share a few facts about STIs and screening to better explain the importance of screening in our sexual health routines. Here are a few facts to gently fuel the conversation:
- STIs often have no symptoms. So you can have an infection and pass it on without knowing it. That's why it's so important to get tested to detect them, get treated and reduce transmission.
- Avoir un diagnostic positif d’ITSS est commun et il n’y a pas de honte à ça : avoir une ITSS ne fait pas de nous une personne sale ou à l’hygiène pauvre. Selon le ministère de la Santé et des Services sociaux, 40,000 STBBI diagnoses are made in Quebec every year.
- Screening is a shared responsibility to limit the transmission of STIs and take care of our health. Since we can have an STI for some time without knowing it, it's not automatically a sign of infidelity.
- Routine screening is for everyone... even monogamous couples. Yes, infidelities can happen and affect our sexual health without our knowledge. STBBIs can also be transmitted by non-sexual means, such as piercing and tattoos.
STBBIs are not detected by the same tests and have different window periods.This means that there may be a delay between the moment of infection and its detection in laboratory tests. You may therefore have to return at a later date to confirm past tests.
Step 3: Reassurance about the screening process
If the person has concerns about the screening process, you can remind them that with the evolution of practices and services, processes, equipment and services are much better than they used to be.
For example, at Prelib, several practices are in place to make screening simple and very easy:
- Appointments are booked online and last around 20 minutes. No more long, uncomfortable waits in a crowded waiting room!
- Our screenings include self-testing to be as non-intrusive as possible. Our patients are in charge of their own sexual health.
- The tests carried out are determined through a confidential online medical questionnaire based on your reality and practices.
- Screening appointments are always followed by a call from a doctor to communicate the results, positive or otherwise, for peace of mind.
So there's no need to worry about safety or well-being. With Prelib, screening is fast, non-judgmental and effective.
To help you even more, we've put together some sample formulations to get the conversation off to a good start:
- « J’ai appris que les ITSS n’ont souvent pas de symptômes et on peut en avoir une sans le savoir. Le dépistage, c’est la seule façon de vérifier. »
- «C’est vraiment commun d’avoir une ITSS même si on fait attention et y’a rien de mal à ça. C’est pour ça que j’aimerais qu’on se dépiste pour faire encore plus attention à nous. »
- «Moi aussi ça me stresse d’avoir un résultat positif, mais au moins ça permet d’avoir le bon traitement. Et si ça arrive, je vais m’assurer que tu sois traité·e aux p’tits oignons, promis »
- "Sure, if you've had a bad experience, it's not tempting to go back. I understand that. But today there are clinics like Prelib where you can do self-testing. It's really less intrusive!"
- « Aimerais-tu qu’on y aille ensemble? Comme ça, on se fait une date et on va prendre un café après. »
Conclusion
It's not always easy to deal with resistance to screening, especially when it involves a sexual partner, but it's not impossible to change his or her mind. The important thing is to avoid making judgments about your screening habits. Taking care of your sexual health should be done without pressure, all the time.
What's more, if the person continues to resist even after you've made your case, it's perfectly OK to respect your limits and take appropriate measures to limit transmission and protect your health. For example, you can :
- Keep getting screened to stay on top of your health
- Continue to use protection methods such as condoms and PrEP
- Stop sexual activity. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of continuing sexual activity without testing, that's perfectly legitimate too.
And if you happen to get a positive result, we have just the thing. a reassuring little guide what to do when that happens.
